Conflicted

I've been having a little trouble getting started with this whole blog thing. I'll have stuff in my head that I want to write down but when I sit down to write it, I get stuck and I'm unable to write down a cohesive thought. I thought I'd start with something non-controversial (at least I think it is - I've been surprised by controversy before). I was going to talk about my favorite question -"Why?". but when I read back my ramblings it made no sense even to me.

I finally realized why I couldn't focus on it. It's because my mind is consumed with other things - things that are more controversial and more likely to raise some ire in people or even hurt them. Things I write may inadvertently touch a raw nerve. And some of the people I hurt may just be people that I care a great deal about. And there's the conflict.

You see, I really like the First Amendment. I think freedom of speech is what lies at the root of a democracy. So I see it as not just my right as accorded to me by the First Amendment to speak out about things. I see it as my responsibility. In a country that has declared its government to be "of the people, for the people and by the people", the democratic system is a participatory one. So speaking out, to me, is my civic duty. (I intend to discuss this in greater detail in a later post)

But if by speaking out, I hurt someone, it would haunt me. I have a strong desire not to bring harm to people (and this desire also fuels some of my other thoughts and opinions). I admit that I am not as successful at that as I would like to be.

Speaking out, though, is more than a civic duty to me. It's also an essential part of my nature. I have been known by many to be "the outspoken one". If I were to deny that part of my being, I would die inside a little bit each day that I stayed silent.

So I have come to a decision. I cannot deny the nature of who I am, my Dharma, what God made me to be. I will continue to speak out.

To reiterate what I said in the Introduction, if I do touch a raw nerve with something I say, I hope you will tell me that I hurt you and why. I want to know what experiences in your life you are bringing to the discussion and how those experiences have colored your views. That will help me to understand a point of view that I may not have considered because my experiences were different.